LET'S PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED...NOPE!

Everything is a system.  Dynamic, flowing, complex.  Every ecosystem, every human body, every financial exchange, every family, and of course every relationship.  We have one fucking huge dynamic relationship here in Hear Me Out.  I mean come on, 15-20 women with an appetite for life, love, connection, and meaning.  And you know what I'm going to say...every relationship has bumps, major bumps.  It's how we grow.  It's not just about the problem we face, it's about how we get through our struggles.  How we manage to communication.  How we manage to listen and learn from what we are going through.

Even the absolute worst in life is a chance to grow and find new opportunities.  Maybe this positive approach is worth puking over (in a bowl of course!), but hear it for what you find worthy.

Because, no, we can't pretend this never happened.

Compost It.

So.   I thought that drinking and smoking while eating barbeque potato chips on a Wednesday night would be a perfect time to blog.  Ya, that’s me going crazy.  That’s what constitutes crazy at 35 with a “serious” day job.   Wait…I need another beer…

So.  What breaks me down?  What could be so fucking difficult about working in sustainability the week after Earth Week?  Everything.  I broke today.  I just about fucking lost it.  And you know what did it?  Compost.  Fucking compost.  I fucking hate compost.  It might make me go bat shit at work.  Wait, does “bat shit” go in compost???  The grounds supervisor laid into me about having compost delivered during finals and putting it in a courtyard.  The same need for compost that we had last year.  The exact same location, but this time he declared that it should not be so.  When I said that we are teaching students how to garden, he thought more students would be affected by the sight of 10 cu yds of compost than could garden.  Jesus!

Then, more compost drama.  I had to make a late decision to not support an area nonprofit on their…you guessed it…compost grant project!   I felt like such a bitch.  But I had to go with my gut and not throw my support behind it.  More compost scrap dumping on campus…from lord knows where.

And all the while, worrying because the great student that I have….who is helping me construct hoop houses…to, yup, you guessed it, to make our own compost…is leaving me.

God damn shit.

Beer and potato chips are finished off.

Doin' It and Doin' It and Doin' It Well.

Hi. My name is Abby and I have verbal diarrhea.

Not really. Well, sometimes... but not like a chronic condition. I've just decided that I have no idea what to blog about so the best (or worst) option may just be to let 'er rip like you just ate a couple sleeves of laxative pills. (I tied that shizzle into the book, y'all).

So... I'm nervous. Let's just get that out there right now. I have this other-worldly idea of bloggers as people that belong to a secret order of some amazing knowledge and understanding that I will never get the secret password to. You know, like Mensa, or Opus Dei, or Magic the Gathering, or Water Street bars. I am, however, really good at faking things. Karen gave me a chance to blog and I feel like I have to run with it... in slow motion... with "Eye of the Tiger" or "Chariots of Fire" playing in the background. This is my moment.

Now... wait. Is this supposed to be about the Bloggess book? Life in general? Deep thoughts? Crap... I'm already f'ing this up. I also don't read directions thoroughly... I always got that shit marked on my standardized tests. I just hated those tests and wanted to get the shit done fast and so I skimmed and assumed. You know what they say about people who assume things? Don't assume that you do, because you might be wrong. I'm actually quite intelligent. And sometimes an ass. I would never presume to think that my assumptions will make an ass out of YOU, though... just me. And... whoever decided that was a clever play on words (the whole, "make an ass out of u and me" thing) was a poor speller. Text message abbreviations weren't even around in the olden days. They should have said "make an ass out of you and me", but then assume would be spelled assyoume and all would be lost.

I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. So... how are you? What's new?

(she takes a deep breath and decides to try again)

I will tell you one thing that I do know for sure... I love this book club. I love what it's turned into. I love how different we all are while still being totally connected. I love that there is actually a place in this wide crazy world where a group of strong-ass, smart, gorgeous and unique women can all get together and do what we do (which is, in case you forgot: talk, eat, discuss, drink, laugh, laugh, laugh, support, dance, vent, love, cry, swear, sing, fart, and sometimes birth babies). Thank you for that, you loves.

Meeting parents for the first time

I'm reading about Jenny meeting Victor's parents for the first time and vice versa. I don't really remember anything profound about meeting Keith's parents for the first time or any of my boyfriend's parents for the first time. Which is only 2 other boyfriends. It's not like I had a ton of parents to meet! But I do remember the first time Keith met my parents!
First off I was nervous because when Keith and I had our first date, it was the night before my graduation. After a night of drinking, dancing (which we have on video, another story for another time), and a sordid and steamy night in my dorm room (yes, the first date, of which I'm not proud, but look, we're still together 13 years later), Keith gave me a hickey. The one and only in our 13 year relationship. How do you explain that to your parents at your college graduation?
About a month later I brought Keith home to Clinton, Iowa. We walked into my parents house and the first thing out of my mom's mouth was "Sarah, wait until you see the new fucking huge Walmart." That's my mom, the now pastor's wife. Keith was like, "what am I getting myself into?" And I introduced Keith to my mom and dad. My father got out his wallet and asked "How much do you want for her?"  Nice. At that point I was sure Keith was going to flee!
Luckily the rest of the visit was great and Keith learned to love my parents. It was clear he loved me already, even at a month into the relationship or surely my parents would have scared him away!

So I figured out how to log in to the blog.  I feel a bit accomplished!  However, I currently have nothing witty or insightful to post.  Love you all lots, Jenni

Eleven things most people have never experienced...

Alright ladies, I want to hear what you have to say! In the book Jenny lists in great length, "Eleven things most people have never experienced or could have even possibly imagined but that totally happened to me because apparently I did something awful in a former life that I am still being punished for."
Please let us know something wacky that happened to you. It doesn't have to be as bizarre as some that Jenny listed, just something different or unusual that happened to you growing up. Can't wait to read your responses!

In the Mix

I am so thrilled to be joining our fearless leader Karen in the blogosphere.  I, too, am a blogging virgin.  There's fewer and fewer things that I can say that about as I cruise through my 30's....  Virginity is over-rated anyway.  So, although this inaugural blog by your devoted and dutiful secretary may be sub-par when it comes to other blogs you've ready by hilarious people, I've just gotten into the mix.  I can't wait to be funny(er) with you all!

And just for good measure - FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: the topic of this entry has nothing to do with our upcoming book "Let's Pretend This Never Happened."  I just wanted to try it out and let Karen know that I received the invite and it works! 

Sarah S.

Here is the unfinished HMO reading log....Please take a peek and help me fill in the blanks....



HEAR  ME OUT
The Reading List
Began April 2007:  1st book  “Eat Pray Love”   by Elizabeth Gilbert
May 2007:  “Gilead” by Marilynne Robinson, Chosen by Jeanne Zautner
June 2007:  “The Painted Veil”  by W. Somerset Maugham,  chosen by Kristy
July 2007:  “Waiting” By Ha Jin, chosen by Sarah Ray
August 2007:  “My Traitor’s Heart” by Rian Malan, chosen by Sarah S.
September 2007:  “Love is a Mix Tape: by Rob Sheffield, chosen by Abby
October 2007:  1st dude month…”The Book of Ralph” by John McNally, chosen by Jeff
November 2007:  “Confessions of an Economic Hit Man” by John Perkins, chosen by Kate N.
December 2007:  “The Blood of Flowers” by Amira Amirrezvani, chosen by Rachel
January 2008: “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hasseini, chosen by Kimberly
Feb. 2008: “My Sister’s Keeper” by Jodi Picault, chosen by Annie
March 2008:  “Into the Wild” by Jon Krakauer, chosen by Kristy P.
April 2008: One Year Anniversary!  “Population 485” by Micheal Perry, chosen by me
May 2008:  “The Year of Magical Thinking” by Joan Didion, chosen by L. Burgess &The Vermont Mamas
June 2008:  “Blindness” by Jose Saramago, chosen by Amy
July 2008:  “She’s Come Undone” by Wally Lamb, chosen by Kate S.
August 2008:  “The Glass Castle” by Jeannette Walls, chosen by Annie
Sept. 2008:  “Prodigal Summer” by Barbara Kingsolver, chosen by Abby
October 2008:  2nd Dude Month  “Breakfast of Champions” by Kurt Vonnegut, chosen by Jeff
November 2008:  “Not Buying It” by Judith Levine, chosen by Kate N.
December 2008:  “Lies my Teacher Told Me” by Jamen Loewen, chosen by Sarah S.
Jan. 2009: “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell, chosen by Callie
Feb. 2009:  “Dress Your Family in Corduroy & Denim” by David Sedaris, chosen by Kristy P.
March 2009:  “The Bonesetters Daughter” by Amy Tan, chosen by Deana
April 2009: 2nd HMO Anniversary!  “Anywhere but Here” by Mona Simpson, chosen by me
May 2009
June 2009:  “Poe’s Children” Collection of Horror, Peter Straub, chosen by HMO
July 2009:  “X  The Erotic Treasury” , Collection of Erotica, Sally Wright, chosen by Sarah S.
Aug. 2009:  Chick Lit!  “Girl Most Likely To” by Poonam Sharma & “Good Grief” by Lolly Winston, Sarah R
Sept. 2009  “Animal Vegetable Miracle” by Barbara Kingsolver, chosen by Kristy
Oct. 2009:  3rd Dude month “Confederacy of Dunces” by John Kennedy O’Toole, chosen by Jeff
Nov. 2009:  “Succulent Wild Woman” by Sark, chosen by Abby,
Dec. 2009:  “Love Stories in this Town” by Amanda Eyre Ward, chosen by Jenni
Jan. 2010: “Still Alice” by Lisa Genova, chosen by Kate S.
Feb. 2010:  “Love is a Dog From Hell” by Charles Bukowski, chosen by Kate N.
March 2010:  “Pretty Little Mistakes” by Heather McElhatten, chosen by Amy W.
April 2010: 3rd HMO Anniversary!  “Girls in Peril” by Karen Lee Boren  &  “Whores on the Hill”  by Colleen Curran
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
Aug. 2010
Sept. 2010  HMO retreat!  “Woodswoman” by Anne La Bastille
Oct. 2010: 4th Dude Month - Wolf Boy by Evan Kuhlman
Nov. 2010  “Middlesex” by Jeffrey Eugenides, chosen by Kristy P. (the only meeting I missed)
Dec. 2010:  “Kabul Beauty School”  by Deborah Rodriguez, chosen by Sarah S.
Jan. 2011  “The Buddha of Suburbia” by Hanif Kureshei
Feb. 2011 “Safe Haven” by Nicholas Sparks, chosen by Martha
March 2011  “Sarah’s Key” by Tatiana de Rosnay
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011 - Dude Month - Monkey Wrench Gang by Edward Abbey
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
Febuary 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
September 2012
October 2012 Dude Month World War Z by Max Brooks - Chosen by Aaron Cook
November 2012
December 2012
January 2013  Moloka'i by Alan Brennert, chosen by Jenni Navidad
Febuary 2013  The Midd